One of Toronto’s most popular talk radio hosts, Mike Stafford just bought himself a brand new Nissan 370Z. When he mentioned that he had bought the car on his 640am radio show, he was immediately lambasted with, “It’s a chick car,” from his listeners.

I listened – and laughed – at the comments and the suggestions on how he could ‘man it up’ but to be totally honest, I still don’t see the core of the argument.

The Nissan 370Z has a 3.7-litre DOHC 24-valve V6 aluminum-alloy engine, which produces a ‘manly’ 332 horsepower. It has a six-speed manual close ratio gearbox that just oozes masculinity. Stafford didn’t get the manual, he took the seven speed auto with paddles on the steering wheel – less manly I’d agree, but I’m not willing to let a few facts ruin a good rant…so stay with me on this. It comes in Black…Mike, please say you got a black one, I’m trying to help here, what is more male than black?

Need more proof? It has a Carbon-fibre composite driveshaft!

The Z-car is a friggin’ legend…seen in movies, most of which are driven by those playboy types in white pants and a cravat. The Z is without doubt, a man’s car….its a sportscar for Pete’s sake!

What the heck is all this chick car stuff anyhow? Hang on, I’ll Google it…

The Urban Dictionary says that a chick car is, “A car that is mostly driven by females, but is occasionally driven by the males as well”. I think you are safe on the Z-car front Mike…oh, wait…it also says, “Chick cars always have automatic transmissions”.

Damn.

I looked at the list of supposed chick cars on various sites, and now, for the benefit of all of you, I will explain the drastically misguided theory of chick cars.

Allow me to stereotype for a minute. Women are delicate, petite, polite, and they are always nice and friendly. The always smile, smell good, look fashionable and above all…have curves.

Men, ahem, are brute force in action, big, strong, aggressive and untidy things that always seem to have an attitude.

If we apply that supposed analogy to their cars, then it’s likely that they will drive a car that exhibits the same traits. So, it’s clear that the most common chick car – according to the sites I looked at – is the Mazda MX-5 Miata. I think the record for most manly is still held by 1978 Trans-Am.

On the surface, the Miata seems to fit well into the feminine stereotyped mould. But trust me on this, the combination of low horsepower, light weight and nimble handling make the Miata anything but feminine.

The real consensus of what is a chick car seems to be one that fits the stereotypical moulds that we have about men and women in general.

This is clearly a flawed system…its funny, I’ll grant you that, but flawed none the less.

Here is how I think we should determine chick cars. Now, I should warn you that my system maybe even more flawed than the one we have now, maybe even more stereotyped, but it will take a more talented eye to spot a chick car.

I think all ‘base’ models of any car should be a chick car. You get a base model Mustang…chick car. You get a GT or Shelby…man. Anything you can’t tell if it’s the base model or not…chick car. If it has “S” “R” “M” or AMG on it…man. Hubcaps…chick.  You get the idea.

The good news for women is that you now no longer have to drive chick cars. Trust me on this, a women that shows up somewhere in a Corvette with the old system has a man-car. Under my system, chick car…the broad that shows up in a Z06, she’s the man now!

Well, its time to see under my system just how Stafford did.

It isn’t the base, and it’s a sportscar…Mike you get a big atta-boy.

Just tint the windows to hide that automatic transmission knob in the center….between us men.